WHEN I was a child I stomped through sand castles. I built cities and smashed them down with heavy footsteps and sound effects. I would imagine myself as Godzilla ( a large lizard that also took glee in destruction), or an act of god, like a hurricane. Sometimes I would accidentally wreck things, sometimes I wasn’t sure what was an accident. There was a reputation. My brother once called me the Angel of Destruction, as an insult. It is associated with an angel that carries out God’s command to eradicate and renew all life during the end of days. However, I had a flair for dramatics, even then, and was pleased with such praise.
LATER I wondered what it meant about me- that I could take more joy in destroying something than creating it. To de-struct. Un-structure something. To aid the universe in entropy, a path towards unraveling. But were destructive tendencies a bad thing? Could something that made me feel free be bad?
BECAUSE as a society we talk about building. Creating. Constructing. Moving forward. We are adverse to destruction, maybe as an act of self-preservation.
BUT is that misguided to think that to avoid destruction is best? Isn’t there a part of us that should embrace it? We build fires and burn them down, and their heat isn’t lost. It is given in the moments of “caveman tv” and you sit on the wrong side of the fire, and the smoke gets in your eyes, and you move to the other side and the smoke gets you again, and someone laughs at your luck, and another person says “smoke follows beauty” and you grimace or laugh depending on your mood. If you are fortunate enough you also have ‘smores.
AND monks with beautiful waxy heads, so shiny, they must shine with all the wisdom trapped under those zenned out domes. They carefully construct aesthetically pleasing, geometrically intricate pieces of art called mandalas with colored sand. And, when they are finished they pour all the colored sand away. In essence they destroy it. Maybe not kicking and yelling like Godzilla, but they destroy it just the same.
SO I dragged my feet, unsure of what to create in my limited time. But really, what do I want to destroy?
It’s a more fun question, and I want to pursue things that excite me. (Cue Miley Cyrus coming in on a wrecking ball).
What do I want to destroy?;
of who I should be, how I should act and what I am capable of and worthy of.
Which promotes unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns and systemically persists in our society.
Sand Castles/Rock Cairns
just because the joy of seeing them fall.
Prevalence of Air Mattresses
Which I fundamentally distrust and believe to be a waste of money as they are doomed to fail.
FINALLY I want a return to revelry, a word that isn’t used nearly enough; A revelry in destruction. Remembering what it is to be a force of nature, and Act of God, and to experience the joy in taking it all down so we can start again with a renewed life.
Thank you for checking out my blog. To the right is the Destructive Tendencies mug which ties in with this blog post for obvious reasons. Because duh, did you even read it?
Destructive Tendencies Mug$12.00